


Broken Bones

by birdbrainberke



Series: Broken [1]
Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: I apologize for nothing, M/M, and stupid friends, and very extra MJ, boyfriends in the ER, or a lot of things, still debating that one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-17 18:45:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10599960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdbrainberke/pseuds/birdbrainberke
Summary: Bin may not be a badass, and he may have been dumb enough to break his thumb playing Mario Kart, but he's determined to keep the cute stranger in the ER from knowing either of those things.





	1. I'm definitely, totally a badass.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bin tries to be functional around the pretty human while simultaneously ignoring his obnoxious group of friends. So of course, he fails on both counts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. This is my first foray into fanfic in years so this will likely be a shitshow. But I'm Bin trash like whoa, so I'm basically a walking shitshow.
> 
> This came from a prompt on Tumblr: "A toddler broke your nose and I may or may not have snapped my thumb during a very intense game of Mario Kart and now we’re both sitting next to each other in the hospital waiting room" AU
> 
> Hopefully gooberiness and stupidity will make this enjoyable trash. Fingers crossed :D

Whoever first assumed Bin was a badass was sorely mistaken, because he was hardcore in absolutely no way. Maybe it was all the black he wore, or his earrings, or a neutral expression that Minhyuk said made him look grumpy, but in reality, he was just perpetually tired. And hungry. And his favorite pastime was binging on TV and ice cream while curled up in a ball on the couch.

Still, even if he was lame, a small amount of delusional pride made him try to hide that he’d snapped his thumb over a video game.

He’d spent the twenty-minute bus ride thinking about how to skirt the specifics of his injury. He could leave out the part about Mario Kart, he decided, because saying he smashed it on a table wasn’t entirely inaccurate—there just happened to be a controller between his hand and the table.

It was all Minhyuk’s fault, really, though Minhyuk would never admit it. “You should have been more careful,” Minhyuk had said lazily as he switched to a new game, and Bin managed to glare despite the tears in his eyes. “Don’t hurt yourself more on the way to the hospital,” Minhyuk had added, and Bin would have thrown something at him if he weren’t nursing his injury.

As usual, his other friends weren’t any better.

 ** _We can only take your silence as confirmation that you’re an idiot_** , came the newest in a series of group texts. Bin glared at his phone and imagined hitting Myungjun with a pillow. Or perhaps a controller, to let him see just how much it could hurt.

 ** _Be nice to Binnie. He tries his best_** , Sanha chimed in.

 ** _Yeah, the kid is right_** , added Minhyuk, which immediately put Bin on edge. Minhyuk rarely spoke up, and when he did, it was either to say something stupid or to make someone else look stupid. The dots next to Minhyuk’s name told him there was more coming, and as soon as the second part the message came through, he nearly threw his phone. **_Not that this would every happen to normal people. Like me. My fingers are all intact._**

Bin must have growled out loud, because a man walking into the waiting room with a coffee stopped and looked over at him. “Are you...okay...?” he asked, his words nasal and clipped.

Bin looked up reflexively and felt his eyes widen when he saw the unnecessarily attractive man standing above him. Even with a bloody rag pressed against what Bin assumed was a broken nose, he was pretty in a way that made Bin’s brain slow down and make speaking impossible.

“Rough night?” the man pressed as Bin, unsure of exactly what was going on, cocked his head to one side and continued staring at the man’s face. That made the man grin, and gestured toward Bin’s hand with the hand holding coffee.

Bin looked down at his thumb, realized that he should probably say actual words, and cleared his throat to buy himself time to remember how to speak. “Uh, yeah. You too?”

That was, apparently, enough invitation for the man to sit down. He nodded as he took a sip of his coffee. “I’m assuming we’re going to be here for a while?” He looked around the room, and Bin followed suit, taking in all the people like them with random, non-fatal injuries.

“Looks like...” Bin muttered, not quite sure how to carry on a conversation with this man now that he’d been staring and rendered, quite literally, speechless.

Mercifully, his phone vibrated, and he looked at the screen to see a message from Myungjun. **_It’s okay if you feel stupid, Binnie. We all do stupid stuff. Well, I don’t because I’m perfect, but you know what I mean._**

Bin let out another soft growl as he rolled his eyes, and next to him, the man chuckled. “That’s the second time your phone made you make that noise. What’s going on?”

Apparently, this man was the type to strike up casual conversation with no trouble at all. That was not a skill Bin had mastered, but the man didn’t seem deterred by his social ineptitude.

“Stupid friends,” he said eventually, holding up the phone. “And with my thumb, I can’t respond fast enough to shut them up.”

The man nodded and held out his hand. “Want me to tell them to shut up for you?”

Bin knew it wouldn’t actually help—his friends were incessant—but he hated staying silent while they collectively bashed him. At minimum, he had to express his severe displeasure with their stupidity. Nodding to the man, he handed over his phone. “Just say something like ‘Kindly shut the hell up.’ Or, you know, whatever...”

The man smirked, and as he typed rapidly, Bin tried hard not to resume staring. He was amazed how gorgeous the man could be even with a broken nose and a face still covered in blood. Luckily, the man either didn’t notice or didn’t care that Bin was staring. He passed the phone back after hitting _send_ and said “I hope that works.”

**_Hi, this is Binnie’s waiting room buddy Dongmin. He asked me to ask you to kindly shut up and stop interrupting our lovely chat in the emergency room. Thanks! <3 <3_**

Bin was going to comment on the hearts, but instead he said “Dongmin” very softly.

The man nodded and extended his hand. “Lee Dongmin. And you are?”

Because he was distracted by prettiness, Bin was slow to take Dongmin’s hand. “Moon Bin,” he said slowly, before remembering that it was polite to add “Nice to meet you.” To keep himself from staring for a third time, Bin released Dongmin’s hand and looked down at his phone. Even if he was never going to have to see the man again, he didn’t want to be the creeper who couldn’t stop staring.

“Looks like they shut up for a bit,” he said as he tossed his phone on the seat next to him. “Won’t last long, though, knowing them.”

Bin crossed his arms and sighed, which made the man chuckle again. “What’d they do to annoy you so much?”

Bin glared over at his phone. “They’re the type to latch onto something and never let it go. Today, it’s this.” He held up his broken thumb, and Dongmin nodded.

“How’d you manage that anyway?”

That made Bin freeze. He had already failed at being cool, but in the fluster that came with talking to a pretty guy, he forgot to downplay his thumb. His thumb was _not_ supposed to be a talking point, especially when he wanted to avoid making an even worse impression. “Banged it on a table,” he said simply, and Dongmin nodded, though from the look on his face, Bin could tell he wasn’t convinced.

“And _why_ did you hit it on a table?”

Bin shrugged, though he was sure it came across as more of a twitch. “My roommate’s a jerk?”

Dongmin’s nod slowed, as if he were prodding Bin on. “And your roommate is a jerk because...?”

Bin frowned, but when it was clear Dongmin wasn’t going to let it go, he sighed. “Because...he blue-shelled me in Mario Kart...”

He had expected mockery and perhaps some laughter, but he hadn’t expected Dongmin to laugh violently enough to drop his coffee. The plastic lid popped off the cup and sprayed coffee on the floor, but Dongmin didn’t seem to mind. By now, he was laughing so hard he was crying, and Bin felt his face collapse into a deep frown.

“Not all of us can get bloodied up in a barfight or whatever it is you did...” Bin grumbled, even though he knew from looking at Dongmin that he had never been within 50 meters of a bar in his life. He crossed his arms across his chest, ignoring the nagging thought that Minhyuk might have been right about the grumpy thing.

Bin’s snark killed Dongmin’s laughter, and he looked over at Bin with obvious confusion. Bin pointed at his nose, and Dongmin frowned. “Oh,” he said, pulling the rag from his nose and looking down at it. His expression had changed drastically, and Bin wondered if he shouldn’t have brought it up. For all he knew, there was a horrible story behind the injury, and as Dongmin hesitated, Bin’s mind ran from domestic violence to a mugging.

The longer Dongmin took to answer, the more Bin’s mind wandered. Maybe—hopefully—there wasn’t any emotional trauma. Maybe, he imagined, Dongmin had tried to rescue an old lady from a burning building and gotten thwacked with her alligator handbag. Or maybe he was a card-carrying member of a local underground fight club, and he’d gotten overconfident fighting some scrawny kid who could kill him with a shoelace in fifteen different ways.

No matter what he came up with, though, he was not expecting the answer Dongmin eventually gave. “I got headbutted by a toddler...”

Bin was glad there was no abuse or trauma, but a _toddler_? A laugh exploded from Bin’s face, which earned him several confused looks and a glare from the intake nurse.

“Hey, the kid’s got a hard head...” Dongmin muttered, which made Bin laugh even harder. He might have been an idiot for getting mad enough over a game to break a bone, but he was sharing a waiting room with a guy dumb enough to let an infant headbutt him. The evening still sucked, but at least now it sucked a bit less.

Dongmin, apparently, didn’t like being laughed at any more than Bin had, but it didn’t take long for him to soften and crack a smile. “At least I wasn’t injured by a piece of plastic...” he muttered just loudly enough for Bin to hear.

“A very _hard_ piece of plastic, thank you,” Bin managed to choke out. That made Dongmin start laughing again, and they kept laughing until they were scolded very loudly by a nurse at the reception desk. Bin stuffed his face in his hoodie to try to keep down a new fit of giggles, but Dongmin stood, bowed low, gave some eloquent apology, and somehow managed to make her blush and close the glass partition without another word.

“Wow, skill,” Bin said as he wiped tears out of his eyes. Dongmin seemed confused, so he nodded toward the reception desk. “Making her flustered enough to stop yelling at us? Must be nice being so pretty.”

As soon as Bin heard what he’d said, he felt his face go uncomfortably red, and he immediately grabbed his phone to give himself something else to look at. He was hoping for something interesting to pull focus from his stupid mouth—perhaps a crazy advance in science that would make for interesting conversation, or meteor hurling toward earth that he could hug with his face—but when he unlocked his phone, he frowned at the lack of updates. No notifications, and stranger still, no texts.

His frown was enough to distract Dongmin from the embarrassing word vomit. “What’s wrong?” he asked, craning slightly to see the screen.

“They haven’t responded...”

Out of the corner of his eye, Bin saw Dongmin frown. “That’s what you wanted, though, right?”

Bin nodded and set the phone in his lap slowly. “Yeah, but they’re never quiet. Something’s wrong...”

Dongmin inhaled sharply. “Something bad?”

Bin nodded and turned to face Dongmin. “They’re silent, so I think that means they’re on their way here...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally gonna be a one-shot, but I needed to break into two chapters. In Chapter 2, the rest of the trainwreck shows up to be extra, as always. I'm particularly excited for MJ, because my headcanon for MJ is _MESssSSSssss_. (Thanks to [vonseal](http://vonseal.tumblr.com/) for that one.)


	2. My friends are stupid and I hate them.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bin's friends arrive at the hospital, and Myungjun turns embarrassing up to eleven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one-shot turned into two chapters, which then expanded into three because Bin running off to get his thumb fixed felt like a logical chapter break. Plus it gives me more time to figure out more trainwrecky things for the ending.

Bin hated being wrong, but as his friends walked through the door and scanned the room to find him, he wished he had been.

He also realized that he hated himself for getting into this mess. And he hated the asthmatic child who walked in after him but apparently was sick enough to be rushed into treatment immediately. And the elderly man who was probably having a heart attack and therefore also managed to not get stuck in the waiting room. And the nurses who didn’t see that his situation had now become critical and that he needed to be prioritized immediately.

But mostly, he hated his friends for being annoying and nosy.

“Binnie!” came an irritating squeak from across the room, and before he could hide properly, Myungjun was running over to him.

Bin cast a desperate look over to Dongmin, who seemed to be failing to completely suppress his amusement at Bin’s pain.

 _Traitor..._  Bin thought darkly as Myungjun launched himself into Bin’s lap and squeezed his head in an awkward hug.

“Binnie! You’re hurt, so we came to love you!”

Bin did not want love, not from this group, because their love actually meant pain and misery. It was moments like this that he questioned why he was friends with them, and he ignored the small voice that reminded him that, were any one of them in the same situation, he’d be just as relentless as they were.

However, as _he_ was the one in this situation, he pointedly ignored the double standard and resorted to pouting.    

Sanha thankfully didn’t try to join Myungjun on Bin’s lap. He sat like a normal person in the seat on the other side of Dongmin and waved at Bin energetically to get his attention. “I wanted to make you chicken soup, but Myungjun-hyung said that was stupid.”

“That’s because it is stupid,” Myungjun snapped. “Obviously, broken fingers can only be fixed by true love.” From his place in the corner, Jinwoo snorted loudly. Myungjun ignored him and twisted his head toward Dongmin. “Speaking of...”

The mention of his name and the way Myungjun was staring at him made Dongmin lean back slightly and cock his eyebrow.

Something in Bin’s brain clicked as he looked from Myungjun to Dongmin and back again, and he suddenly realized the exact moment his friends decided to make the trip to the hospital. Originally, he had assumed it was to taunt him—if he wanted them to stop texting so badly, then they’d just show up so he couldn’t avoid them.

But he’d been very, very wrong, and he let out a very audible groan.

It was the text.

It was Dongmin’s stupid hearts in his stupid text that he made with his stupid pretty hands.

Bin had lost track of how long his friends had been trying to find him a boyfriend, and each time they concocted a plan—a blind date, a surprise setup, anything—it had failed spectacularly. They were awesome for trying, and a small part of him appreciated the effort, but they were miserable when it came to actual execution.

The fact that they were in the waiting room screening Dongmin at 11:29 at night was proof that they weren’t exactly the type to think things through.

“Speaking of...?” Dongmin eventually asked when Myungjun didn’t say anything else, and the smile Myungjun gave was unnerving.

“What do you think of Bin? He’s pretty, right? I mean, if you’re into that sort of thing, which I’m pretty sure you are, considering how much you’re staring at him.” He paused to let that sink in, and Bin was pretty sure Dongmin’s cheeks were turning pink. “Though, I mean, Jinwoo’s prettier.” Myungjun leaned around Bin’s head and looked over to where Jinwoo was poking lazily at his phone. “Did you hear that, Jinwoo? I said you’re prettier than Bin!”

Jinwoo stuck up his thumb without looking up, Myungjun frowned, and Bin marveled at Myungjun’s ability to make this conversation about himself.

“They’re fighting,” Sanha offered to fill the silence that followed, which Bin found to be completely unhelpful because _obviously_ they were fighting.

“We are _not_ fighting,” Myungjun said far more defensively than was necessary. “He’s just illogical and jealous.”

Though he’d just met Dongmin, Bin felt it was appropriate to look at him and raise an eyebrow. That made Dongmin smile, which made Bin smile stupidly in return.

“You were flirting with the barista,” Jinwoo answered slowly, his attention still on his phone.

Bin wondered why Jinwoo had come if he was mad at Myungjun and uninterested in taunting Bin. Either he wanted to witness the shenanigans to entertain himself, or he was dragged out by an overexcited Sanha. Either way, he didn’t seem interested in making Bin miserable, which meant Bin only had to deal with three annoying people butting in to his business.

“I was trying to get free coffee,” Myungjun said, his face scrunched into a half pout, half glare.

“Yeah, by flirting.”

Sanha looked increasingly more uncomfortable, Dongmin looked like he was watching a surreal tennis match, and Bin only then noticed that Minhyuk had parked himself upside down on a chair and was flipping through a magazine that was also upside down.

“I’m saving for our _future_ , Jinwoo, and the best way to do that is to scam people and get things for free. Obviously.”

Jinwoo scoffed and aggressively swiped at something on his phone; Myungjun’s face fell and he let out a small whimper. Bin dutifully patted his back while casting Dongmin another glance that he hoped conveyed both his desperate need for help and a heartfelt apology for the chaos around him.

“It’s Dongmin, right?” Myungjun said suddenly, plastering an obnoxious grin on his face and holding out his hand for Dongmin to take. Dongmin seemed confused at how quickly Myungjun could bounce back, but Myungjun pressed on. “I’m Myungjun, Bin’s best friend in the world.”

“No you’re not,” Bin said flatly, but Myungjun ignored him.

“The giant baby there is Sanha—” Sanha waved even though he was sitting right next to Dongmin, “—the idiot reading upside down is Minhyuk—” Minhyuk responded by accidentally dropping the magazine on his face and looking confused by what had happened, “—and that gorgeous blond boy over there is my boyfriend, Jinwoo. You hear that, Jinwoo? I said you’re gorgeous!”

Jinwoo waved lazily and continued not paying attention to Myungjun.

“They’re fighting,” Sanha whispered loudly as if no one had heard him the first time, and this time Myungjun tried to launch himself out of Bin’s lap and hit Sanha on the head. Sanha yelped and jumped up, and Bin just barely managed to restrain Myungjun without hitting his thumb.

Myungjun must have realized that he wasn’t escaping, so he turned his attention to Dongmin. He stared intently at first and eventually, without warning, reached out and started stroking Dongmin’s face. Dongmin, clearly not used to this sort of behavior from a complete stranger, froze; Bin, unsure of how to salvage the situation, took the opportunity to hit Myungjun on the head. “What planet are you even from?” he asked, shaking his head and looking at Dongmin. “I’m so sorry… I—”

He wasn’t sure exactly what he was going to say to diffuse the face stroking, but it stopped mattering when Myungjun cut him off. “Dongmin, I’ve decided that you’re pretty. Bin likes pretty guys. You two should make out.”

Bin’s eyes got wide and his face grew hot as he considered ways to kill Myungjun and dispose of the body. Dongmin was apparently also embarrassed by the suggestion, because he seemed to be hiding behind his bloody rag more pointedly than before.

“I mean, what else are you going to do while you wait? I’m sure Bin can avoid your nose.” He paused and cocked his head as something, apparently, occurred to him. “Or you could avoid his nose entirely. We’re in a hospital, so you could just play doctor.”

Sanha squeaked and turned a violent red, and Bin closed his eyes and shook his head slowly.

“Better idea,” Myungjun amended, looking over at Jinwoo. “Jinwoo, wanna play doctor?”

Sanha buried his face in his hands, and Dongmin began picking at a piece of lint on his jacket, but Jinwoo didn’t react. Apparently, he had decided that ignoring Myungjun completely was the best way to shut him up.

Myungjun continued making wildly inappropriate comments with such speed that no one could figure out a good way to shut him up. Luckily it only took a few minutes for a nurse to appear and call out Bin’s name. He shoved Myungjun on the floor, ignored his angry protests and instance that his perfect butt had been broken, and hurried toward the nurse. Halfway across the waiting room, though, he realized he was about to leave Dongmin alone with Myungjun, which was neither fair nor humane. “Sanha, watch him,” he said, gesturing toward Myungjun, and Sanha nodded resolutely, delusionally accepting his task as if there were anything he could do but stare in horror as Myungjun did his inexplicable Myungjun things.

 _This will never work..._ he thought bleakly, and before turning back around, he inclined his head toward Dongmin. “Good luck with your nose,” he said, smiled awkwardly and considered saying more before he turned and scuttled away toward the nurse.

 _God, I hope he’s gone when I get out..._ Bin thought, though he realized as he followed the nurse to an exam room that the thought wasn’t entirely accurate. He wished, for Dongmin’s sake, that he wouldn’t be there, but as far as Bin was concerned, he wouldn’t mind staring at Dongmin a bit more.

Which would have been simple, if not for the tiny demon in the waiting room. Or his own crippling awkwardness. He wasn’t sure which was worse.

Except obviously Myungjun was worse, and as he waited for the nurse to set his thumb, he considered all the creative ways he could make the short boy’s life endless hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found myself typing "Minhyuk" instead of "Myungjun" and there's a good chance I tossed a "Myungjin" in there on accident, so if you notice stuff that's just blatantly wrong or dumb, lmk.
> 
> Now maybe I should start working since I'm, ya know, at work... -_-


	3. Myungjun is Satan and I hate him the most.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bin gets his thumb fixed, Dongmin is still in the waiting room surrounded by morons, and Myungjun is predictably inappropriate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY figured out how to link chunks of this chapter together. But since it's 2:30 in the morning, it might not be as linked as I think it is. Fingers crossed my brain did functional things.

Bin was glad when his cast was finished, but that meant he had to walk back out into the waiting room. Despite how painful breaking his thumb was, he was pretty sure he’d rather snap his other thumb than deal with the crazies waiting for him.

_At least Dongmin’s probably gone_ , he thought, sighing and cursing himself for not attempting to get Dongmin’s number. It was probably for the best, though, because Dongmin had met his friends, and his friends were embarrassing and horrible. Dongmin would have definitely rejected him, and that would suck, because even if he wasn’t a badass, being turned down by a pretty man with a broken nose sounded like a terrible way to end the evening.

Even if his friends hadn’t shown up, he probably wouldn’t have bothered asking Dongmin out anyway. He’d have considered it, chickened out, and then binged on ice cream as soon as he got home to make himself feel better. At absolute best, he’d manage to scream “Number?!” at Dongmin, then panic, run all the way home, and hide under his blankets until he died.

No, this was better, Bin decided, and before pushing open the door that led to the waiting room, he took a deep breath and steeled himself. He’d deal with his friends (by telling them they were dumb and then largely ignoring them), go home, fall asleep, and avoid thinking about missing an opportunity with a cute stranger.

His plan exploded when he emerged from the back and saw that Dongmin was not gone, his friends were not gone, and they had repositioned themselves around Dongmin like a horde of vultures waiting to pick him apart. Sanha was on the floor at Dongmin’s feet, Jinwoo was in a chair talking to him (and pointedly ignoring Myungjun’s attempts to pull his attention), and even Minhyuk had moved several seats closer, though he was still upside down and still looking through the same upside-down magazine.

Dongmin was the first one to notice Bin was back, and despite being in the middle of what was had to be an uncomfortable situation, he looked up, smiled, and waved.

Bin waved back stupidly and felt his face curl into a smile in return, and he felt his heart start thumping annoyingly.

God, he was pretty, and god, Bin was crushing hard, and that would be very bad if any of his friends noticed because they would weaponize that and use it against him for years. Unfortunately, he was sure at least half of them had noticed something, or at least they had the vague inklings of noticing something, because if they hadn’t, they wouldn’t be here to ruin his life.

Bin took a deep breath and crossed the rest of the way to the group, deciding that since Dongmin was still around, he needed to leave quickly before anything else stupid could happen. “All fixed up, so we should go.” Jinwoo looked up with a raised eyebrow and half a smirk. Sanha turned around to look up at Bin and pouted. Myungjun ignored Bin and kept trying to get Jinwoo’s attention. Minhyuk flipped a page in his upside-down magazine and nodded thoughtfully, as if whatever he’d just read was particularly poignant.

Dongmin’s smile faded, which made Bin’s face fall, and Sanha definitely noticed this because he said, “Binnie! You’re making Dongmin-hyung sad!” He patted the spot on the floor next to him in invitation for him to sit down. “We should wait for him to get fixed up. And then food! You like food!”

Sanha was nodding obnoxiously, which would have normally been endearing, but right now, when Bin was trying to run away, it was irritating.

Instead of responding directly, Bin chose to deflect, and he pointed at the pink teddy bear Sanha was holding. “Explain.”

Sanha was confused, but as he looked down and processed what Bin was talking about, Minhyuk responded without bothering to look up from his magazine. “Jinwoo-hyung got so annoyed with Myungjun-hyung that he started talking to Dongmin. Myungjun-hyung keeps trying and failing to get his attention, so he ran off to the gift shop and bought him those roses and that bear.” Bin saw a bouquet of flowers lying abandoned on a chair next to Minhyuk. Sanha squeezed the bear protectively, and Bin saw that an angry Myungjun was glaring at Sanha, presumably for stealing Jinwoo’s present.

Dongmin looked impressed and slightly scared that the boy flipping through an upside-down magazine had managed to retain anything around him. Bin couldn’t blame him for his confusion; the trick was unnerving, but in certain situations, it came in handy.

“Dongmin’s been talking about grad school,” Minhyuk continued, “and Sanha is hanging on everything he says.” Bin noticed the distinct tone shift when Minhyuk mentioned Sanha, and Sanha, apparently, noticed it too. He looked up at Minhyuk, obviously confused, and Bin saw him reflexively hug the bear again.

Those two were ridiculous and they obviously needed someone to push them together, but Bin couldn’t deal with that mess, not when he was in the middle of his own. It sounded like his friends hadn’t done anything except talk like normal people, but Bin knew how likely that was to change.

“I’m sorry,” Bin said as he bowed slightly to Dongmin, “but we really have to go. I hope you don’t have to wait much longer. Thanks for the help with the text and...good luck with your face.” He winced slightly as soon as he said it—he was annoyed with himself for managing to be more awkward than usual—so he distracted himself by dragging Sanha to his feet. He was about to pull Minhyuk off his chair when he noticed that Jinwoo had turned his attention back to his phone, and that Myungjun was conspicuously gone.

“Where’s the demon child...?” he asked quietly, but no one responded. While it was reasonable that Myungjun had gone to buy Jinwoo more gifts to try to make up for being insufferable, Bin didn’t trust that. It was Myungjun, after all, so there was no way his disappearance wasn’t part of something evil.

For the second time that night, Bin wished he hadn’t been right. He saw Dongmin’s expression change and his head cock slightly to the side as he focused on something vaguely near Bin’s waist. Before he could look down to see what Dongmin was confused about, he felt a pair of hands grip his waist and a whoosh of air as his shirt was yanked up to his chest.

“We couldn’t leave without you seeing Bin’s abs!” Myungjun said brightly, his head poking out from behind Bin. “He’s got good abs, doesn’t he?”

Dongmin was blushing furiously, and Bin was sure he was the exact shade of red that Myungjun would be when he stabbed him.

Bin tried to fight off Myungjun, but he was at a disadvantage with one broken hand. Bin was stronger, though, and Myungjun knew it, so Myungjun shouted for Sanha and Minhyuk, who each jumped up and grabbed one of Bin’s arm’s to keep him still.

“Minhyuk,” Bin growled, looking over at his roommate. “The bistro.”

That was enough to make Minhyuk immediately release Bin’s arm. Myungjun, not pleased that Minhyuk turned on him, added, “Minhyuk, what did we discuss on the way here, hmm?”

This, apparently, cased enough conflict to begin a meltdown in Minhyuk’s head, because after several stuttering starts toward Bin’s arm, he turned and ran out of the waiting room, which left everyone staring after him, confused. Sanha recovered first, dropped Bin’s arm, and ran after Minhyuk, the teddy bear flopping violently as he ran.

_Two down..._ Jinwoo might have helped on a normal day, but since he and Myungjun were fighting, he wasn’t going to be a problem. Which meant the only person left was the Hobbit.

Unfortunately, Myungjun was smart enough to realize that he needed to immobilize Bin fast if he was going to win. He yanked his shirt up even higher, then pulled it taut to limit Bin’s range of motion. Bin wiggled to free himself, but when he made any progress, Myungjun just pulled the fabric tighter.

“Stop squirming!” Myungjun said, obviously beginning to get out of breath. To tire him out faster, Bin started squirming more.

He hoped that Jinwoo would get bored and come over to save him, or maybe Dongmin would put an end to what was quickly becoming a spectacle, but neither did anything to help. Instead, he was saved when a voice from somewhere behind Bin said, “Lee Dongmin? We’re ready for you.”

As Dongmin stood, both Myungjun and Bin froze, and Bin forced an uncomfortable smile. He fully expected Dongmin to walk past him, perhaps return his smile if he was feeling generous, and then escape from the crazy with the nurse.

He did not expect Dongmin to stop near Bin, angle himself slightly toward the nurse, and bow deeply. “I’m sorry, I’ll be right there.” The nurse didn’t seem bothered—if anything, she, like the rest of the waiting room, was intrigued—and she hugged her clipboard to her chest as Dongmin dug through his pockets.

He pulled out his phone, unlocked it, poked around for a second, then held it out near Bin’s good hand. “If you give me your number, I’ll text you when I’m out. Maybe we can get coffee tomorrow?”

Bin didn’t know how to process this, and even Myungjun seemed shocked that his attempts at matchmaking hadn’t failed miserably.

They stood like this long enough for Jinwoo to sigh loudly, grab Dongmin’s phone, swipe at his own phone, then presumably copy Bin’s number over to Dongmin’s phone. When he was finished, he handed the phone back to Dongmin, gave Bin an exasperated look, then went back to his seat.

Dongmin, whose face was still slightly red, smiled at Bin, pocketed his phone, and then walked over to the nurse, who looked like she was trying to hide giggles behind her clipboard. When Dongmin reached her, she opened the door for him, but before walking through he turned back toward Bin. “Oh, and by the way?” he said loudly enough for everyone in the waiting room to hear. “Nice abs.”

Bin snapped his eyes shut and prayed that the earth would swallow him up. Yes, he was going on a date with a gorgeous man, and that was objectively a good thing, but that man had seen several levels of messed up, and Bin didn’t know how he’d be able to face him. Even though Dongmin had asked for his number—which meant he was, inexplicably, interested—Bin would still have to look at him. And talk to him. And be reminded that Dongmin had seen the disaster in the ER and would remember it forever. When he heard the door behind him close, he let out a long sigh; at least with Dongmin gone, Bin had one less thing to worry about.

Myungjun was still a problem, but seconds later, Bin felt a pair of hands removing Myungjun from him before pulling his shirt down. He opened his eyes and saw Jinwoo looking up at him, eyes looking as tired as Bin felt. “You wanna get the hell out of here?”

Bin nodded slowly, and Jinwoo snaked an arm around his waist. Myungjun grabbed the flowers, bounced up on the other side of Jinwoo, and tried to link arms with him, but Jinwoo swatted his arm away.

“Jinjin...” Myungjun whined, but Jinwoo ignored him. Myungjun turned to Bin and pouted.

“You seriously want sympathy? You deserve that and more, you jerk,” Bin said, which made Myungjun slap him on the arm.

“Hey!” Myungjun said, his voice significantly higher than normal. “If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have a date tomorrow!”

If his friends hadn’t shown up, he and Dongmin might have had a normal conversation, and one of them might have asked the other out. Bin knew, though, that he wouldn’t have been able to, and he was fairly certain that he would have run away before Dongmin had the chance to ask.

Which meant that Myungjun was right. Bin would never tell him, and he would definitely not let himself think that thought again, but in this one instance, as much as he hated to admit it, he was glad he had friends who were complete and utter idiots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Done. Finally finished. So of course that means I now have to write the related Socky fic to explain the bistro line, and the related Myungjin fic to explain why Jinjin's so pissed. Those will be coming...soon...?
> 
> If I missed anything huge or did something stupid or if you just want to shower me with validation, hit me up on [Tumblr](http://payneinthearsenal.tumblr.com/).


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